Saturday, October 11, 2014

More Thoughts

Well, my memories are kinda sporadic. I'm beginning to think that the Old Man's messing with me. The worst part is something that I can't remember: S's name. I can't remember her name. No matter how long I think, no matter how hard I try, I just can't remember. Why? Why can't I remember? I miss her. I miss her so much.


I had to take a break. For some reason, thinking of Linux before had reminded me of something else he said once: he called me an anomaly. I wouldn't have thought twice about it, except someone else had said that: Mother. I remember thinking that Linux had been insane: there was no way that I'd one day (in alternate realities) be immortal, kill everyone I know, and be feared by some of the Fears. (Of course, I now know that the first one came true.)

Maybe there was more to his words than hot air. Especially since they had been shared by a Fear. They both said that I was an impossibility. That the original reason the Slender Man started watching me was because he knew what I'd become.But what exactly is that? What am I? Who am I? Am I still a good person, or am I a monster? An abomination? A freak of nature? Is this why I'm still here? Why the Slender Man or Mother (To name just 2)  haven't killed me?

I'm sorry, I'm just kind of confused right now. This is so much to process.

18 comments:

  1. Personally, I don't think you are a bad person.

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    1. No offense, but you don't know me very well.

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    2. I know. But you try, don't you? To be a good person.

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    3. Does trying matter when you are only able to do the opposite?

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    4. I have no fucking clue. I'd like to think so.

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    5. For what? You haven't done anything to be sorry about.

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    6. I'm done with this. Best wishes, all that. I'm going to have a normal life and all, you know... I figured it out. After all this time.

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  2. There are people out there for whom human constraints do not apply. It would not be at all surprising if you were to be one of them. This does not make you a monster, a freak, or a bad person.

    It just makes you unusual.

    And I am sorry the Librarian kept her name. I am certain He has a good reason, but that does not make it hurt less, I am certain.

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    Replies
    1. I hope he has a good reason. But, the one thing I was able to focus on when resisting Mother was S.

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    2. Perhaps it is as Sanna suggests, and he intends it as a reminder to stay away?

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    3. Perhaps. I still don't like it.

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  3. If you're trying to avoid her, it's probably best that you don't know her name.

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    Replies
    1. I still know where she lives. It's just her name that I can't remember.

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    2. Still best that you don't know.

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