Tuesday, July 22, 2014


So, it's been awhile since my last post. It's crazy here, Russia's in chaos right now for Runners and Proxies alike. I've had to skip town quite a few times to avoid trouble. So, where to begin? I guess that eye is a good place. Med, if you want it, say so. If not, well, I guess it can just keep creeping me out. Again, no offense intended, I'm just not used to disembodied eyes following my movements.

Next thing is the most (prominent) recent dream. This one gave me the idea that these are possibly memories. So, I'm gonna describe it here. Probably in great detail, so you can skip it if you want. I'll have a line break at the start and the end. So, here we go:
I was in the passenger seat of a car, this dream followed the previous one where I wasn't in control of my actions. I turned to the back of the car, seeing the driver: a man who looked to be younger than 20. Probably still in high school, so probably younger than 18 as well. I started talking to someone in the back: a girl who must have been the younger sister of the driver. She had to be younger than me, since I was telling her about some project that she'd have to do the next school year. (This confirmed that she was a year younger than me) We also started talking about other things as well: we definitely seemed to be good friends.

The next thing I know, I see a bright light and hear the man yell. Everything went dark.Suddenly, I 'opened' my eyes and felt a lot of pain. Everywhere. I felt a warm trickle of blood running down the side of my head. As I looked to my left, I saw that the driver was in far worse shape, but he was still breathing. I fumbled with the seat belt until it unlatched. I then leaned over to check on him: his pulse was inconsistent, but he was definitely still alive.

He let out a groan as he opened his eyes. "Is...is she okay? Tell me she's okay."

I leaned over the seat towards the back to check on the girl, she was fine from what I could tell. Just unconscious. I told him.

"Well...I guess we're not gonna...have that...basketball game tomorrow, huh?" He tried laughing, but it ended with him coughing up blood.

"Hey, don't try to talk. Just lay back, I'm gonna call for help okay?" I stumbled out of the car and looked around as I pulled out a phone and dialed for help. I told the operator everything I knew and was told that help was on the way. I looked around for the other car, it wasn't there. The other driver probably was drunk and freaked out, so he probably just left. His front bumper was still here. I heard my friend calling for me.

"...I want you to do me a favor. If...if I don't..."

"Don't you dare start talking like that! You'll be fine. Help will get here, and we'll all be okay."

"No. Just listen to me dammit." He started coughing again. "Promise me. Promise me that you'll take care of her. Promise me..." He started coughing, worse than the other times, until he passed out.

"I...I promise." I checked to see if he was still alive, he was. I sat down and kept checking on both of them until  heard sirens. Two ambulances and a police car approached. The EMT's came to me, but I told them to not worry about me. The cop walked over and started questioning me as the EMT's loaded up the other two. I got into the back of the back of the ambulance with the driver. He died on the way to the hospital, the EMT in the back was apologetic, he felt that there would have been a chance for my friend if a helicopter had been available.

At the hospital, I was told that I had been lucky. I came out of the accident with a few bruised ribs and a broken ankle. I was in the same room as the sister. The doctor told me that my and her parents were on the way. He thought that she'd be awake before her parents arrived and he wasn't sure if it would be a good idea for him to be the one to break the news to her. As if on cue, she shifted and woke up. The doctor made a hurried exit after helping me to a chair next to her bed.

"What happened?"

"Well, there was an accident. You have a concussion." I froze when I was about to tell her about her brother.

"What is it? What's wrong? Where?..."

I looked down as I told her the news. She started crying and grabbed my hand. I ended up crying as well. Apparently, he had been a close friend. We sat like that for a while. Then her parents arrived and mine helped me over to my bed, where I tried to sleep. I then woke up with a distinct feeling of sadness.
I know that names must have been used, but I can't remember them. But, I do think that it was a memory from my past. Most likely before I became a Runner. The girl might still be alive. I wonder who she was?

So, after waking up, I decided to go on that walk. I walked to a diner that was recommended by the owner of the hotel. It was a nice little diner, and I chose a seat that allowed me to see everything in the building. I got a newspaper (even though I can't read Russian, made me feel very silly) and some coffee. Just when I was about to leave I saw two men enter. Both were wearing some very nice suits. They sat down and began searching the place. One of them saw me, his gaze rested for too long, it gave him away. They both then went out of their way to not directly look at me.

I got up and asked the owner if there was a restroom I could use. I entered it and was relieved to find that it was a single-occupant with a lock, and had a window just large enough for me to slip out. I locked the door and made my way out. I judged that I would have at least 10 minutes before they realized what happened. When I got back to the hotel, I saw a car sitting in front, probably waiting to see if I entered the hotel. I slipped in through a side entrance.

The owner was very helpful. He told me that some men in suits had been asking for me and searched my room. He gave me my bag, and told me to go. That he had never seen me. I thanked him and (after checking to make sure that I had everything) left. I've been going from town to town since then.

This was a lot longer than I thought it would be, so you must be a legend if you read it all. I might be a few steps closer to finding my identity, I hope.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Coming to You Live from Russia

So, I just arrived in Russia. I'm now trying to find out why I'm here. I'll jump back to my departure from NYC.

I woke up with a small container nearby and a note. After reading the note, I decided it was time to go, so I started packing my things. I got the passport and ID papers ready. According to them, I am Johnathan Carter, a 19 year old student going to Russia to study. I chose this ID because it was seemed the most 'average' one. Some were as young as 16, others were 25. I hoped that it would hold up to inspection. (Luckily, it did. Although the guy who looked at it gave me an odd glance.) I made sure that everything was packed appropriately. It was time to say goodbye to Oswald.

He saw my bag. "You're leaving already?"-Oswald

"Yeah, it's probably time I track down my past."

"Why don't you stay longer? Alright, fine, let me get you a drink then?"

"Sorry, but no. I need to stay sharp. Besides, we don't even know if I'm legally old enough!" We both laughed at this.

"Okay. Have you said goodbye to Stacy?" I nodded. "Well, it was nice to meet you. You do know that we'll always have a room available?"

"Yes, Oswald's Bar and Grill is open to all Runners, eh?"

He laughed. " 'Oswald's Bar and Grill'? That's what they call it? I like the sound of that more than the legal name! Come on, I'll drive you to the airport."
After a nervous boarding period, I settled in for a long flight. I had another odd dream. This one was less 'nightmarish' than all the others. I found myself in what looked like a desert. It stretched for about as far as I could see. Almost with purpose, I climbed one of the nearby dunes, on the other side was what looked like a small oasis. But, it wasn't...right. It kept 'flickering' into and out of existence. Almost like a hallucination.

I walked to it and entered. There were people. I felt someone grab my arm and I turned. I saw a woman, she's impossible to describe, yet there was also something wrong about her appearance. I can't remember what though. I saw her lips move, as if she was speaking. Then I felt mine move in response, but I couldn't hear anything. I realized it at that moment that I couldn't hear anything at all. The woman spoke with me for a while, an whatever it was that she said must have been good news. Almost from the moment of stepping into the area, I had felt safe; after my conversation, I felt happy.

The woman then led me to a bed said something else and walked away. I sat on the bed for a while, then must have decided to try and rest. I was laying there for some time when I shifted as if I heard something. Suddenly, I felt this massive rush of anger and resentment. It was targeted at a lot of things, including myself. I don't understand what this dream was about.

So now, I'm sitting in a rented room. I don't even know what I'm waiting for. I have no idea why I'm here, or what I'm trying to find. I think I might go on a walk later. Try and see if something 'stumbles' into my path.

Monday, July 7, 2014

An Update (Part 2)

So, I'm continuing where I had left off. I had just finished my food when I decided to check on why the backpack felt heavier than it looked. It took me a while, but I finally found a hidden pouch. Inside were identification papers. Passports, driver's licenses, everything. For more than just the United States as well. None of them had photos on them, and I found a kit that would allow me to get a photo applied to them properly. I grabbed a random passport. The name was Johnathan Carter. It would do for my trip to Russia.

After that, things got quiet again, so I decided to try and do research. On all the blogs, and Carter. I wish I knew who I was. Anyway, it was almost afternoon when I heard a tap at the door. Of course, I grabbed the revolver and prepared for an attack.

"Who is it?"-me
"Me." The voice sounded feminine, but I couldn't be certain.
"Who is 'me'?"

I told her to come in. She apologized for how I had woken up, and asked if I was done eating. I said that I was and she started walking out.

"Tell your father that the food was great."-me
"You really think so?"-her
"Well, I'm no critic, and I've been living off of canned foods. But...yes, it was."

She smiled as she walked out. I guess she was the cook. The rest of that day was uneventful.

Then the 4th came along. Lotta guys in the bar drinking. Oswald came down to talk to me. He said that no one's been able to find Randall or Sampson, but that they should be fine. I hope so. He then said that he would like to given me a quick examination, since I was going to be staying here for a while. Apparently, he knows basic medicine. He said that everything looked fine and asked if there was anything that I thought felt odd.

"Yeah, actually, my arms do. One feels less...sensitive to touch."-me

He looked closely at the arm.

"Well, I wouldn't'a seen it, if you hadn't mentioned it. Look here: a small scar. By the way it's shaped, it looks almost like a precision blade made the wound. Any surgeries?"-Oswald

I told him that I couldn't think of any. It was odd. After that, he went back upstairs. When dinner came along, I decided to eat up there. I sat at an empty table and ordered some soup. I decided to watch the TV. After a few spoonfuls of soup, a man blocked my view of the TV. I decided to ignore him and keep eating. He made a show out of pulling out a chair and sitting.

"I don't want you here."

I ignored him.

"My friends don't want you here either." I could smell the alcohol on his breath. "You think you're funny? Ignoring me? Do you know who I am!?"

I looked up, and back at my food. He was about to keep talking when Stacy came up to him. She grabbed his arm.

"Come on, Jimmy, you've had enough fun for tonight. Don't make my dad throw you out.." She was cut off as he turned and hit her.

I don't remember how I did it, but I just started moving. He had two friends behind me, and he was at least twice my size. I remember swinging back and hitting the one guy while throwing the soup at the other. They both went down, as I turned to Jimmy. I remember picking up a chair, and the next thing I know, he's on the ground. Unconscious. I helped Stacy up, as Oswald came running in with a baseball bat. When he saw the results, he laughed a little. A few men helped drag the brawlers out. Then Stacy gasped.

"Carter! You...you've been stabbed!" I looked down and saw a knife still embedded in my side. It must have belonged to Jimmy, and it explained the quick feeling of pain I had when I saw him fall. Oswald rushed me downstairs.

While he was getting medical supplies together, I yanked the knife out. I don't know why, I just did. He came over and started putting pressure on the wound, but the bleeding stopped within a few minutes. When he removed the cloth to apply bandages he froze.

"Carter...wasn't there just a knife wound here?" I said that there was. "Well...I don't know how to put this...but...it's not here anymore."

I looked and saw for myself: no wound. No scar. Not even a scratch was left. Just dried blood. He thanked me for helping his daughter, and asked for a sample of my blood. I gave him one, and asked if he had any leads about my identity yet. He didn't.

So, now I'm sitting here in my room trying to make sense of all of this. Obviously, I've received some kind of advanced training from somewhere and it's still muscle memory for me. And then there's the arm and the possible surgery there. Not to mention this new development with the wound...  I wish things could just be simple for once.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

An Update

So, I've been gone awhile. Sorry about that, pretty busy here. I'll update you guys on the most interesting stuff. Oswald's been trying to find out who I am, but he hasn't had any luck. My first morning was the most interesting, so I'll start there.

I had been having a nightmare. In it, I saw two men running. One was armed with a knife, and the other was unarmed. The armed man looked like he was chasing the other. The chase went through a field, then broke into the woods. I was never able to get close enough to see their faces, even when the unarmed man had been cornered, I couldn't get close enough. The unarmed man spoke first.

"I accept my fate. It's pointless for me to keep running."-unarmed
"Are those your last words? I could put them on their headstone."-armed
"You're disgusting. How the hell can you just...do this? When you die, I hope it's painful and slow."-unarmed

The man with the knife murdered the other man right after he finished talking.

"Because, I enjoy it." He kicked the body to make sure the man was dead, then started to laugh.

I woke up with a start after that. As my eyes adjusted, I saw a figure in my room. It was Oswald's daughter, Stacy. She was standing next to the door, looking at me. I saw a tray of food on the table.

"Can I help you?"-me
"...n-no. Sorry, I...was just bringing you breakfast...and...then I saw you thrashing around...and I wasn't sure if I should...help...or..."-Stacy
"It's fine, thank you."-me

She pretty much ran out the door before I had even been halfway through that sentence. I decided that nothing could be done about it now, so I went about my morning routine. I started eating when I heard a knock at my door. Oswald entered and asked if he could sit, so I said 'yes.'

"G'morning. So, in the all the craziness from last night, I didn't get a chance to hear your story. You feel like sharin'?"-Oswald

I told him everything. He listened intently then said that he's be right back. I continued eating until he returned with some maps he put one of the United States down first and told me to look it over. A few minutes went by.

"What exactly...am I looking for?"-me
"Well, you don't feel any, eh, 'pull' to any state? You know, just and urge to go there? Anything?"-Oswald

I said no. He looked disappointed and put down another map. This one was a world map. I looked at it for a while and two places kept drawing my interest. He noticed and asked me, so I pointed them out.

"You're definitely not Russian....At least, I don't think you are. You sound American, but maybe there's something important in those places. Tell you what, I'm gonna check missing person lists and see if anyone of your description crops up. In the meantime, you can try and relax."-Oswald

"One thing, before you go. I...uh...I don't want to be rude or anything, but...uhm...how did you get involved in...this?"-me

"Well. That is a story. I got involved because of my wife. She was a Runner who tried to escape from it all. She always tried to make the most out of everything. I never knew much about her past...I just assumed that she had come from an abusive family. Well, one night, she comes bursting into our room with Stacy. She was only 5 years old at the time. Old enough to remember. She told me that I needed to take Stacy and run. She said that as she pulled out a bag from the closet and gave it to me. I told her that I wasn't gonna leave her. And that I'd scare off whoever was in the house. She was about to say somethin' else when the door burst open. That...freak stood there. The faceless one. She told me to run, to take Stacy and never look back. I'm not proud of it, but that's what I did. I took Stacy and ran. Later I checked the bag to find a journal she left. It explained everything, and it was then that I decided I would help Runners. And that...that is my story."-Oswald

I apologized for bringing it up, but he told me to forget about it, that it was perfectly fine for me to be curious about his past. He left my room after that.

I sat there staring at the map and at those two countries. What could be waiting for me in Russia? As for the other country, well, I may not go there.