Every night, before I sleep, I recite the names of the lost. Those who are confirmed dead, and those that just disappeared and are assumed dead.
It's morbid. But, it tends to be followed by thoughts about how the list will only grow longer with each passing year. I wonder if the list will become so long that I decide to abandon this idea? Most likely. I also dread the day when I have to add more names to it.
It's been 5 months since this all started. Almost 6 now. I have a few more things to say before I tell you my story. Since my story wouldn't make much since without it, I'll tell you what I currently do: I'm a Freshman in high school. Some of you will stop reading there, but many (if not most) of the people in the same situation are in high school. I also apologize for the eyesore that is my last post, I was half-asleep while typing it and in a hurry. Hopefully, this one will be better. And lastly, a final warning. Stop reading now if you have no idea of what my situation is. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble, it's how I got tangled up in this.
I'm assuming that if you're still here it's because of one of the following: You're curious, a fool, in the same situation as me, or maybe a mixture of those. Irregardless, my story starts just last summer, in July. I was home alone, and had to watch my sister's dog. It was a warm mornin…
I was thinking of an old friend tonight. And a conversation with her. I miss her a lot. If it wouldn't put her life in danger, I'd visit. She'd probably love to have someone to dissect.
It was a crisp night and she brought out a nice, warm drink. She made good tea. I remember her looking at me for a while before asking me.
"Carter... What's it like? To kill so many people, I mean."
"It's... Terrible. It removes parts of your humanity each and every time. You'll never forget it. Every time you'r idle, your mind will play it back to you. You'll look at yourself in the mirror and see a killer. That's what drove me over the edge. That's why I'm not killing someone again."
"But you killed a lot of people before...Her. Of your own free will. Why would you choose that life? Why did you do it?"
"... Because if I didn't... If I didn't, then someone else would be in danger. I did it for you, and everyone …